Prey...A letter from Mia

My sweet Julia,

I sit here restless. I can not sleep tonight. I hope that writing this letter to you will be my drug and that it will relax me enough to sleep. It seems that I have had too many restless nights over the years.

When I looked outside from the bedroom window this morning, the sky was just the most beautiful blue. There was not a single cloud in the sky! It looked so much like summer. You know how I feel about summer. Nothing feels better than that wonderful heat shining down to embrace you. Deceived by the scene, I stepped outside excited and ready for the challenge of my four mile walk. By the time I reached the sidewalk, the unexpected chill had nipped at my ears and brushed my face. A quick reminder that it is winter and no longer summer. I frowned at the cold and remembered a night so long ago. Your father and I had a horrible fight on the phone and I hung up on him. No matter how hard I try, I can't even remember what it was about. I just remember how angry he was that I would hang up on him and leave him with no control over the matter. Well, that's what I had thought.

Satisfied that I just hung up on him, I turn out my bedroom light and crawl under the blankets. I stare at the far wall and lose myself in the pattern left by the street lamp outside shining on my curtains. Numb and exhausted I close my eyes and fall asleep.I'm awakened by a knocking sound. I realize that it's my front door! I jump out of my bed and hurry to the door. The knock keeps getting louder and I am afraid the tenants around me will be woken up too. I peer out through the peep-hole and see him standing there.

Great.

I try to calm myself. I straighten my shoulders and I open the door. "Put your shoes on. Now."

I look up at him and ask him what he wants. "I said, put on your shoes. We are going for a drive and I swear, if you don't, I will wake everyone in this whole complex!"

I shut the door behind him and turn to walk back into my room. I pull some pants on and grab the first sweatshirt I can find. I put my Nike's on with no socks. I keep thinking how insane this is, but I would rather not have the neighbors involved. I walk back out into the hall, only to find the front door wide open. Apparently, he wasn't about to wait for me to put shoes on. I can hear the low purr of his car. Great. I hastily tie my shoes.

I hurry and walk to his car. I slide into the passenger seat and buckle my seat belt, knowing it would be necessary tonight. Without a single word to me, he backs out of the parking lot in a hurry and goes racing out of the complex. Minutes later we are parked at an empty strip mall that has been abandoned by shoppers hours ago. He parks under a street lamp and turns the car off. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. He is staring straight ahead with a blank expression, still no words. I sigh and look out the passenger window. My heart begins to pound in my chest. I can feel the anger seeping out from his body.

He turns to me and says, almost in a whisper, "If YOU ever hang up on me again, you can count on never talking to me again for the rest of your life. Do you understand?"

I can not believe that he has dragged me out of bed to make this announcement? I think to myself how incredible it is that he has no clue that he is not the only one thinking about us never talking again. Without answering him, I reach for the door handle. The locks click.

"Where do you think you are going?"

I try to unlock the door. Not a second later, the locks click again. "I ASKED YOU, where are you going?"

I quietly say, "Please, just let me go." I continue to try for the door and keep myself from looking at him.

"NO! No, you are going to answer my question. Do you understand? You are never going to hang up on me again. I didn't take an hour drive to have you just act like I didn't' say anything.

"Tears start to stream down my face. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. His words no longer have meaning. I can only hear the anger. I can only feel the fear welling up in my chest.

Outraged by seeing my tears dripping off my chin, he screams, "WHAT ARE YOU CRYING FOR?" As if he needed to ask? He suddenly reaches across, I melt into my seat. "What? What? You think I would hit your or something?" His voice gets louder. "FINE!" He opens the door and he gives me a slight push, "GET OUT! Don't let me stop you from doing whatever the hell it is you want!"

In my fear and rush to get away, my foot gets caught on the door frame and I fall to the ground. A sharp pain radiates from my elbow to my shoulder. I shut the door and I crawl a few paces away. I stand up and I start to run across the parking lot. I run across the street, not paying attention to the cars racing on the four lane road. Cars blare their horns at me and I jump form the sounds. I hurry across the rest of the road and ignore all the headlights. I run around the Dairy Queen and lean up against a wall facing the Jiffy Lube. I hide next to the dumpster.

I know that he will come after me. I try to think of how I'm going to make the three miles home in the dark. I start to feel the cold winter air penetrate my sweatshirt. The chill nips my ears and brushes my face. I realize that I have never, in three years, been this afraid of him and what he will do. I don't know what is worse, letting him catch up to me or the three miles home in the middle of the night.

I see headlights shining on the ground. I know that he has followed me. I head for some bushes on the edge of the parking lot. "Mia!" I crawl through the bushes ignoring the scrapes from the branches. "Mia! I'm sorry. Baby, don't do this. I'm sorry." I sink down on my knees in the dirt.

There is a fence on the other side. No! No, no, no.

In a softer voice now. "Mia? Baby, I don't know what I was thinking. Please come out. I'll drive you home and take care of you. I promise. I won't even come in if you don't want me to. Please? Baby, I'm sorry."

I hear his footsteps coming closer. I feel his hand on my back. I lean into the fence and hear the sounds coming from inside of me, deep in my throat. The high pitch cry belongs to some wounded animal, not me. I don't even realize that it is me.

"Oh, Baby. Mia, please stop. Mia, you're scaring me." His arms wrap around me and he pulls me out of the bushes towards him. He coaxes me to stand up. He leads me back to the car. I walk like some old lady down a hospital corridor. He puts me into the seat and buckles me up. I am sobbing uncontrollably. My entire body shakes with spasms. I can't even breath.

We finally get back to the apartment. I don't even know how we get inside without the keys. I don't even know if I actually locked the door before leaving. He takes me into the bathroom and begins to run me a hot bath. He asks me, "Baby, what do you want me to do? I'll do anything you need me to." I don't respond. "Baby, please? Can you get into the tub by yourself? You're going to get sick if you don't. You're so cold. I'll get you some clothes." I still don't respond. I just stand and look at myself in the mirror. What has happened to me? He turns and leaves to get my clothes.

I turn and I shut the door. I push in the lock. I strip off my clothes and I sink into the bubbles and close my eyes.

It has been so long since I've thought of that night. I guess it must have been that same chill in the air this morning.

Oh, Julia. I pray that you will never have to endure a night like that. I pray that you will never know what it feels like to be followed and hunted, chased into the bushes like an animal by it's predator, to be caught and helpless.

I am tired now. The memory has drained me. I am thankful that sleep will come tonight.

Love,
Your Mother