Not Tonight...just another moment in time.

I can't believe I only have minutes left. I walk around the room and light all the candles I have set out. Mmmm, the sent of bamboo and lemongrass fill my senses. I turn out the hotel room lights. I stand before the mirror by the bathroom's open doorway, bathed in the soft glow of the light spilling out.

My hair's too neat, too tidy. I tug on a few strands above my right eyebrow. The deep red strands curl and tumble over my eye. I pull a few more, one behind my left ear, the strands tickle my bare neck. Just perfect.

I add a little more deep mocha liner to the outer edges of my eyes, smudge just a little here and a little there. Now, how about another dab of that raspberry lip gloss. Oooh, smells like Jolly Ranchers. I pucker and give the mirror an imaginary kiss. Smiles, yes, I am going to do this.

I grab the Chanel No. 5. It's a classic, always a scent for you to remember me by. I dab it from behind my ears to the dip between my breasts, a little under, down my flat tummy, down my inner thighs, around my calves, down to my ankles. Try and escape me now.

I slide my powdered feet into my 4" strappy sandals. Oh, Jimmy Choo, you know how to draw attention to my legs, don't you, baby? They are the perfect shimmery soft nude color. Not too distracting, just enough to wink at you and draw your attention all the way down and back up.

I straighten up, one last look. Yes, this nightgown is perfect. Limey and sheer, tiny spaghetti straps, hugs me at all the right curves. The shimmery lime thong caresses me low on my hips. My breast rise and fall with each deep breath. I slide my hands over my breasts, down my waist, over my hips. I am going to do this. Tonight.

You wanted to meet here for one last night. Oh, Honey, I don't think so. Just because we are not at your place or mine, you won't forget this night. You will drive down this road and you will see this hotel, you will think of me, always. You won't be able to leave me, not this time, not this easy.

You knock softly on the door. I take a deep breath, close my eyes. You fell for me that first night so long ago! You tangled me up in your web! I remember your hands on my back as we danced. I remember how you looked at me! Now, years later and you want to run the other way, run as fast as you can? No, not this time. I am going to do this. Smile, now is not the time for tears. I shake my head from side to side, No, not this time. You will not make me cry this time. You will be the one to cry. You will be the one to beg me to stay and hold you, to never leave you.

I turn out the bathroom light. I walk to the door and open it slowly. The breeze brings a cold breath indoors and makes all the candles flicker. I see the light dance in your eyes. Yes, I saw your fear. It may have only been for a split second before you pulled your composure together and you stand there so tall and defiant, as always. Too late, I know, I saw it in your eyes.

I smile and you smile back. I take your right pinkie in my hand and draw you inside closer to me. You reach back with your other, you shut and lock the door as we go. I slowly take a few steps back. I wrap my arms around your neck and look up at you. You slide your hands along my waist, down my hips, around to my lower back. I lean up against you, unbutton your coat. You shrug your shoulders and slide out, coat drops to the floor and you kick it aside.

I rub up against your stomach, your chest. I pull your shirt from your pants, unbutton the buttons and slide my hands around to your back. I feel the muscles tighten up and go rigid. I don't stop. I start swaying so that you will dance with me. I tuck my ear up against your chest. Your heart is beating fiercely. It begins to slow. I feel you relax, drop your shoulders. I feel a small shudder. In the silence, I hear you take a breath and a hot tear drips on my forehead. I feel the hot moisture of your lips kiss my right eyebrow.

No, tonight will not be our last.